How to Reconnect with Your Body When You’ve Been Living in Your Head

This blog post is a companion to my recent virtual workshop, Reconnect with Your Body on Your Lunch Break, and is a helpful foundation for my upcoming in-person workshop on June 10th, The Self-Trust Happy Hour. Both are co-hosted by a licensed therapist (me!), a registered dietitian (Nicole Groman), and a somatic practitioner (Jeremy Cline).

When’s the last time you actually listened to your body?

If you’re like a lot of my clients (before working with me, that is 😉), it’s probably been a while.

I’m an online therapist for perfectionism in Garden City, NY, and I specialize in working with women who are stepping into leadership roles. I just co-hosted a free workshop with 2 wonderful colleagues: Nicole Groman, RDN, a badass dietitian and founder of Nicole Groman Nutrition, who’s passionate about helping people break free from diet culture and reconnect with themselves, and Jeremy Cline, a wonderful Feldenkrais practitioner and director of The Feldenkrais Foundation, who’s committed to helping people heal from chronic pain and improve their quality of life.

Our three areas of expertise seem so different, but they’re actually more similar than you’d think. Because we all work with clients on embodiment: feeling, not just thinking.

And especially for my sensitive, perfectionistic, high-achieving people out there (cheers!), you might think you’re feeling all day (and yeah, you kind of are!), but often you’re actually trying to escape from feeling: avoiding it (doomscrolling or over functioning/overworking/overscheduling yourself, anyone?), downplaying it (“I’m fine! I don’t know why I’m crying!”), or intellectualizing it (trying to think your way through the feeling instead of actually feeling it).

The free workshop we hosted on May 13th focused on exactly this: giving yourself the time, space, and attention to reconnect with your body. So here, I'll share what I talked about in my section of the workshop, but it was truly just one piece of a rich conversation that blended of therapy, nutrition, and somatic perspectives. And if you want the full picture, our upcoming in-person workshop on June 10, 2026, The Self-Trust Happy Hour, will go even deeper.

The difference between thinking about your feelings and actually feeling them

Here's something that comes up with my clients a lot: when someone asks how you felt about something, what do you say?

If your answer sounds something like "I think that was completely ridiculous" or "I feel like I totally messed up,” that's not feeling, it’s thinking (yup, even if the sentence starts with “I feel like”). Replaying a situation in your head isn't feeling either, even if it brings up anxiety or anger. And neither is staying so busy you never have to sit with anything (which, if you’re a perfectionist or someone in a high-responsibility role, might sound familiar).

So, what is feeling? It's noticing what's coming up in your body without needing to immediately explain or fix it. Staying present with whatever's there and letting it move through, rather than fueling it or pushing it away. Getting curious, without judging yourself.

And here’s why this matters: most of us think that if we think our way through an emotion, we'll stop feeling it faster. But actually, the opposite tends to be true (though there’s definitely a time and place for thinking too). Plus, your body is signaling things to you all the time, and the more you practice tuning in, the easier it gets to hear what it's trying to tell you.

Try this now: a simple grounding practice you can do at your desk

Before we get into a more feelings-focused exercise, let’s get you grounded first. I know it might feel a little silly if you're not used to it - but stick with me, because it really does help.

Let’s start by getting you grounded in your body : (Take your time, don’t rush this). If you can, plant both feet flat on the floor. Feel your feet on the floor, and your body against the seat you're sitting in. Take a few slow, smooth breaths, breathing deep into your belly if you can.

Then, get grounded in your space. Look around and notice:

• 3 things that are green

• 3 things with different textures (you can touch them or just imagine what they'd feel like)

• 3 things that signal safety or comfort to you

Just notice how you feel after.

How to get more specific about what you're actually feeling: the feelings wheel

If you haven't come across a feelings wheel before, try this one. The idea is simple: instead of stopping at "I feel bad" or "I feel anxious," you use it to get more specific. Start at the center with the broadest emotion and work your way out. The more specific you can get, the easier it is to figure out what you actually need or want – which is something a lot of perfectionists and high-achieving women struggle with, because we’re so used to pushing through rather than pausing to check in.

Here's the exercise I walked through in the workshop:

Pick two emotions you've felt today – one pleasant, one unpleasant. (I tend to use those terms for emotions instead of "good" and "bad,” because all emotions are normal and necessary.) And keep in mind you might be feeling multiple things at once, even conflicting emotions – that’s totally normal.

This might feel a little unfamiliar at first, and your thinking brain will probably try to jump back in. When it does, just gently bring yourself back – no judgment, just curiosity.

For each emotion:

• Where do you feel it in your body?

• What does it feel like? (notice any texture, color, shape, movement, etc.)

• What happens when you pay attention to it?

• What need might it be signaling? (rest, support, movement, connection, etc.)

Start with the unpleasant emotion, then the pleasant one, and really give each prompt a little time.

Then notice: is there any difference between how you felt coming in and how you feel now?

Three questions worth sitting with

These are journaling prompts I shared in the workshop, because they’re good ones to help you go deeper in reconnecting with yourself:

• What are some of the messages you received growing up about listening to your body, whether direct or indirect?

• When, where, or with whom do you feel most connected to and present in your body?

• When, where, or with whom do you feel least connected to and present in your body?

FAQs

Is it my fault that I’m disconnected from my body?

I don’t know you, but still, my answer is no. Blame and shame don’t help us, and they don’t actually capture the whole picture. Sure, on a surface level it’s easy to blame ourselves for being disconnected. But the reality is so much more nuanced than that.

We tend disconnect from our bodies for really understandable, valid reasons (even if we don’t like or “agree” with them ourselves). It often comes down to disconnecting as a self-protection strategy. Sometimes that’s related to trauma, but honestly there are so many other reasons, like disconnecting to keep the peace, numbing emotions that feel too overwhelming to sit with, or just never having been taught another way. And especially for perfectionists, disconnecting from the body is often how we learned to keep performing, even when we were running on empty.

There’s usually a reason for it, even if that reason doesn't exist anymore, or isn't obvious yet. That's exactly the kind of thing I love helping my clients unpack.

How else does being disconnected from my body affect me?

Being disconnected from your body makes it harder to meet your own emotional and physical needs, it makes decision-making more difficult, and it limits how well you can really know yourself. And often for women in leadership roles (especially those who are newly in those roles), this can show up as chronic self-doubt, difficulty setting limits, and a persistent feeling of being out of touch with what you actually want (rather than just what's expected of you).

As my co-hosts also spoke to, staying disconnected from your body can affect other aspects of your life too, like your relationship with food and eating, and the chronic pain and tension you carry, often without even realizing it.

Is it normal to not know what I'm feeling?

Yes! And it's especially common among perfectionists. A lot of us didn't learn the emotional vocabulary we needed to pinpoint specific feelings, or we weren't encouraged to stay in touch with our emotions so we learned to push them away and keep things more general. Sometimes we feel so many things at once that it's hard to differentiate them. All of that is really common, and all of it can shift with practice.

How do I figure out where I feel an emotion in my body?

(This question was submitted at our workshop – thank you to the lovely person who sent it in.)

This takes some time to learn, and that's okay. I usually recommend starting with the big, louder emotions and working your way down from there.

Start with an emotion you just can't ignore, like anger or anxiety. The next time you experience it, check in with your body and notice what's happening. Let’s use anger as an example: how do you know you're angry? Is it just angry thoughts, or is your body reacting too? Do your shoulders tighten? Does your heart start pounding? Does your mind get foggy?

Start noticing where those emotions show up when they're really loud. From there, you can start branching out to more subtle emotions and quieter signals. And of course, working with a therapist can make this process a lot easier and faster.

Ready to go deeper?

If this resonated with you, you don't have to stop here.

If you're a woman stepping into a bigger role and feeling the weight of it – the pressure to perform, the self-doubt, the sense that you've lost touch with yourself somewhere along the way – this is exactly what I work on with clients in therapy. I'm an online therapist for perfectionism in Garden City, NY, and I'd love to support you.

And if you’ve got a lot on your plate and you're looking for a lower-lift way to start, we have an in-person workshop coming up in NYC on June 10, 2026: The Self-Trust Happy Hour. Two hours, real tools, and a room full of people doing the same work alongside you. Spots are limited, but we’d love to see you there. If you’re interested, you can register here.

Other Therapy Services at Balanced Connection Counseling

If you've been pushing through tension headaches, ignoring your body's signals, and crashing at the end of every day only to beat yourself up about it—there's usually more going on than just a busy schedule. When perfectionism runs the show, it often brings along anxiety, burnout, people-pleasing, and that relentless pressure to keep producing no matter what your body is telling you. That's why I offer therapy for perfectionism in Garden City, NY, along with support for women who've spent so long overriding their own needs that they don't even know what those needs are anymore. Therapy can be a place to reconnect with what your body has been trying to tell you, learn to slow down without guilt, and stop treating rest like something you have to earn.

About the Author

Adina Babad, LMHC-D, is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who offers therapy for perfectionism in Garden City, NY and online throughout New York. She works with high-achieving women who are stepping into bigger, more visible roles and finding that the pressure, self-doubt, and disconnection from themselves is coming along for the ride.

With warmth and clinical insight, Adina helps clients untangle the perfectionism, people-pleasing, and habit of overriding their own needs that made them so good at pushing through in the first place. Because feeling your feelings isn't a luxury or a distraction from your goals. It's actually how you get there.