What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You (That Your Brain Keeps Ignoring)
It’s 6pm, you just got home (or logged off work… for now) and you’re just now vaguely noticing that you've been holding your breath for basically the entire day. Your back is feeling tense. Your stomach’s been growling. You have a bit of a headache. But you’ve got things to do (like making dinner, getting more work done so you don’t feel even more behind tomorrow, working on the business you’re growing on the side, talking to your partner, taking care of the kids, I could go on). So, you try to ignore it as much as you can and just push through. If you've ever wondered whether therapy for perfectionism could help with exactly this pattern, keep reading.
Until eventually, you have a bit of a crash (you know the one – doomscrolling for hours, revenge bedtime procrastination, totally losing motivation and struggling to get yourself back to the things on your to-do list, lashing out with some irritation at your partner), and you beat yourself up for getting stuck. Again. (And rinse and repeat).
As an online therapist for perfectionism in Garden City, NY, with a focus on working with women stepping into leadership roles, this is a pattern I see in and work on a lot with my clients. (And ahem maybe I’ve gotten caught in this one myself too). So, no shame – you’re in the right place.
If you notice this pattern and beat yourself up for getting caught in it anyway, that’s actually pretty common, and it’s especially common for high achievers, women in leadership roles, and people who have perfectionist tendencies. Oh, and it’s not a sign that you’re bad at being a human, or that you’re not cut out for this. Since I don’t think this is talked about enough, let’s talk about it!
Why ignoring your body is so common among high achievers and women in leadership roles
First off, they’re often not used to free time. And when they do get it, they either can’t figure out what to do with it or feel guilty for not “making the most of it.” (Optimization tendencies, anyone?). There’s also usually a running mental to-do list that never quite turns off, a weight of feeling responsible for everyone around them, and a habit of absorbing other people’s emotions and needs as if they were their own – because letting someone down would feel like failure.
So, the result? A body that’s been sending signals all day – tension, hunger, fatigue, that low-level hum of anxiety – while the brain keeps overriding them with “just one more thing.” Sound familiar?
What are common signs your body is trying to get your attention?
If any of these sound like you, your body is probably trying to tell you something (and may have been trying to get your attention for a while):
You’re always tired – even when you get more rest
A low-level headache, tight shoulders, or tension in your back has become kind of normal
You’ve just accepted ongoing GI issues as part of life
It’s hard to fall and/or stay asleep (and/or you’re staying up late doomscrolling despite feeling exhausted)
You tend to feel kind of anxious and on edge, like you’re waiting for something to go wrong or the other shoe to drop
When you finally relax, you feel kind of restless, like you should be doing something
Emotions feel right at the surface – crying easily or “out of nowhere,” snapping at your partner over something small. You feel things deeply, you're just not always sure what you're actually feeling or where it's coming from
These are just some of the signs your body’s just doing its job, trying to get your attention the only way it knows how.
What does it actually mean to listen to your body?
I always tell my clients to keep in mind that this is a skill you’re relearning. It’s one we’re born with (you know how babies cry when they’re hungry, need sleep, have a tummy ache?), but that many of us unlearned early on – when we got the message, directly or indirectly, that our needs were too much, or that others’ needs came first. So please, be patient with yourself. 💚
Actually listening to your body looks like:
Noticing when your body is holding discomfort and pausing to check in with what you need – water, a break from the screen(s), getting up and moving around, food, a mental break, or a rest day from the gym – before it reaches pain or a strong need
Noticing when you’re starting to feel tired and giving yourself rest when you are, catching it before you reach exhaustion
Noticing a gut feeling or reaction and listening to what it might be telling you – like the project you really don’t have capacity for but are about to say yes to anyway, or the meal you’re craving but don’t speak up about because you don’t want to inconvenience someone else
Noticing when you’re experiencing an emotion and seeing where it’s showing up in your body, and what might need to be released or addressed
Noticing your relationship with food – whether you're eating to numb, to fuel, or for pure joy – without judgment
How to start tuning back into your body: a simple practice you can do right now
Take 60 seconds (or more if you need it) to do a slow mental scan of your body, from the top of your head down to your feet. Notice any sensations that might be coming up – whether these feel like emotions, hunger cues, or something else, you don’t need to figure out exactly what’s happening just yet. Just start by noticing, without judgment.
Then if you can, take the next 90 seconds to let your body feel, without trying to control what’s coming up. Check in with what need those sensations might be signaling – a need for rest, food, movement, a slow deep breath.
It’s okay if this feels unfamiliar or even a little weird at first, and it’s also okay if you can’t quite place what’s going on just yet. Honestly, the practice of tuning back into your body can take time to get used to.
Ready to go deeper?
These changes don’t happen overnight, and often, we could use extra support in learning to listen to what our bodies are trying to tell us – especially when we’ve been ignoring those signals for a long time. And for some of us, tuning back in can feel overwhelming or even unsafe – which is really common, and also a sign that having support matters even more.
You deserve to be able to listen to your body – without judgment, shame, or control. And if you’re in New York state, I’d love to help you learn to listen and take care of yourself the way you truly deserve.
(And if you read that last sentence and something in you just pushed back a little – to caring for yourself, to getting support, to doing something different – that might just be telling you that this is exactly what you need.)
What If You Stopped Pushing Through and Started Listening? Start Therapy for Perfectionism in Garden City
If you've been ignoring the tension in your back, the headaches, the shallow breathing, and the crashes that follow—and then beating yourself up for crashing in the first place—you're not failing. You're running a pattern that perfectionism taught you a long time ago: push through, keep going, rest later. Except later never comes. As a therapist for perfectionism based in Garden City, NY, I work with women who are so used to overriding their body's signals that they don't even notice them anymore—until the crash forces them to stop. In therapy for perfectionism, we explore what your body has been trying to tell you, why your brain learned to ignore it, and what it would actually look like to slow down without guilt, without falling behind, and without the inevitable spiral of self-criticism that follows.
If that resonates, let's talk.
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Your body has been talking to you for a while now. Therapy at Balanced Connection Counseling can help you finally start listening—without shame.
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If you've been pushing through tension headaches, ignoring your body's signals, and crashing at the end of every day only to beat yourself up about it—there's usually more going on than just a busy schedule. When perfectionism runs the show, it often brings along anxiety, burnout, people-pleasing, and that relentless pressure to keep producing no matter what your body is telling you. That's why I offer therapy for perfectionism in Garden City, NY, along with support for women who've spent so long overriding their own needs that they don't even know what those needs are anymore. Therapy can be a place to reconnect with what your body has been trying to tell you, learn to slow down without guilt, and stop treating rest like something you have to earn.
About the Author
Adina Babad, LMHC-D, is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who offers therapy for perfectionism in Garden City, NY and online throughout New York. She works with women who've gotten so good at pushing through—the tension, the headaches, the exhaustion, the crashes—that they don't even recognize their body's signals anymore, until something forces them to stop. With warmth and clinical insight, Adina helps clients untangle the perfectionism, people-pleasing, and pressure to keep producing that taught them to override their own needs in the first place. In therapy, she offers a space where you can finally slow down without guilt, reconnect with what your body has been trying to tell you, and stop treating rest as something you have to earn by doing enough first.