Therapy for Perfectionists: 10 Signs It Might Be Time to Start

You’ve thought about going to therapy… at least briefly. But so far, you’ve either written it off (“therapy is for people who are really struggling”) or told yourself you’ll look for a therapist for perfectionism when you have more time/when things get worse/when [insert next milestone or crisis here].

And so it keeps getting pushed off.

In other areas of your life, you do a lot—you work hard, show up for your friends, and hold yourself to high standards. But it still doesn’t quite feel like enough. When it comes to your own mental health, it's rarely the priority. Sure, you might fit in a bi-weekly mani-pedi or a weekly face mask—you know, “self-care.” But the deeper self-care—the kind where you sit with your emotions and actually work through them? That’s been on the back burner.

And hey—no judgment here. Really. I get it. That “I’ll start therapy when…” thinking? Or the “I have enough insight to figure this out on my own”? You’re not alone. I’ve been there before, and so have a lot of my clients.

Perfectionism can be sneaky like that. It can make us feel like we’re being productive or self-aware (and you probably are those things) while also quietly getting in the way of our growth—even when it comes to recognizing that it might be time for support.

In my last blog, I talked about how perfectionism can hold us back from starting perfectionism therapy. Now, let’s talk about what signs to look for—so you can recognize when it might actually be time to get started.

10 Signs It Might Be Time to Start Therapy for Perfectionism

There are lots of reasons to start therapy, but here are some common signs it might be the right time:

1. You’re doing all the “right” things, but it never feels like enough

The goalpost keeps moving. You hit one milestone, and immediately have your eyes on the next. You rarely feel satisfied. And getting praise? It feels nice… but it wears off quickly.

2. You have trouble relaxing or enjoying the good stuff

There’s always more to do, more to improve, more to worry about. You notice the wins, but they don’t land in a meaningful way. Your mind quickly shifts back to what didn’t go well.

3. You’re always busy

Free time? What’s that?

Your schedule is packed—sometimes with things that seem important, sometimes with things that feel fun (or at least should feel fun). But still, you rarely get a break from doing.

4. Your emotions feel a bit muted or distant

You don’t feel nothing, but it’s like everything is turned down a notch. Because when we numb the unpleasant stuff (stress, anxiety, sadness), we end up dulling the good stuff too.

You might also be feeling burned out—emotionally, mentally, physically—from work, from overdoing, or from constantly carrying the pressure to keep it all together.

5. You’re really hard on yourself

Maybe it just feels like your default. You might even know it’s not actually helping—but it’s familiar, and it kicks in automatically. And it can even feel like it’s what keeps you motivated and successful—like being tough on yourself is just part of how you do life. Over time, though, that kind of pressure tends to chip away at your confidence instead of building it.

6. You procrastinate… a lot (like starting therapy 😉)

When there’s pressure to do things well (or “right”), it can keep you frozen. You want to get it right—and so you end up putting it off entirely. And it’s not about laziness—it’s about fear of not being good enough, and also knowing just how much effort you’ll put in once you do start. That anticipation can be exhausting before you’ve even begun.

7. You feel pressure. All. The. Time

To perform, to please, to succeed, to not let anyone down. You might feel anxious or overwhelmed often—or maybe that’s just become your “normal,” so you hardly notice anymore. But either way, it’s draining you (whether it’s a quiet whisper or a full-blown shout).

8. You have a hard time accepting imperfection

Acceptance isn’t exactly a familiar feeling. When things don’t go your way—or don’t meet your standards—you feel frustrated, disappointed, or just plain irritated. You might ruminate on what went wrong or what you could’ve done differently (because it often feels like it’s somehow your responsibility to fix). And when others fall short, it’s hard not to judge—at least internally. You expect a lot, and it’s leaving you more frustrated (and less patient) than you’d like.

9. You minimize what you’re dealing with (even when it’s kind of a lot)

You’re really good at rationalizing—telling yourself you’re fine, it’s manageable, other people have it worse. And while that might technically be true, it doesn’t mean you’re not overwhelmed. Minimizing your pain doesn’t make it go away—it just adds to the shame and makes it harder to validate and care for yourself.

10. You rarely check in with your own needs or feelings

You’re focused on getting things done. Even as someone who’s self-aware, you might intellectualize your emotions instead of feeling them, or push off really taking care of yourself because you have more to do. But here’s the thing: thriving requires tending to your own needs. You don’t have to wallow in feelings, but you do need to acknowledge and work with them to really move forward.

How Perfectionism Therapy in New York Can Help

Perfectionism a coping strategy—something we develop to feel more in control or worthy of love and acceptance. And while high standards can be great, perfectionism tends to be rigid. It drains our joy and keeps us stuck.

Therapy offers a space to:

• Challenge, reframe, or find distance from unhelpful thought patterns

• Learn to accept what’s out of your control (like others’ opinions or expectations)

• Clarify your values and live in alignment with them

• Be more present in your life

• Treat yourself with more compassion

• Practice vulnerability and self-expression (with the support and respect you deserve)

And yes, perfectionism therapy can absolutely help you soften the harsh edges of perfectionism—without throwing away your ambition, your high standards, or your care for others. It’s about making space for your humanity, not giving up your drive. Along the way, you’ll also learn to communicate more effectively, let go of unhelpful coping patterns, and develop skills that feel supportive—not just productive.

Some Final Thoughts

This isn’t about whether you “need” therapy. It’s about whether you deserve support (which you do). You deserve to feel grounded, to slow down, and to live in a way that feels sustainable, not just productive.

If any of these signs resonate, it might be time to give therapy a try. You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to start healing. Therapy can help you feel more like you again—just with less pressure, more clarity, and better tools.

If you’re curious, I’d love to help. Reach out to schedule a consult call. We can talk about your goals, walk through any questions or hesitations, and figure out if we’d be a good fit.

Wondering If It’s Time for Perfectionism Therapy in New York?

If you’ve read through the signs and felt even a little seen, it’s worth paying attention to that. You don’t need a meltdown to justify support—and you’re allowed to explore therapy even if you’re still functioning, still achieving, still doing “fine.” As a therapist for perfectionism based in Garden City, NY, I work with clients who feel like they should have it all together… but privately feel exhausted, anxious, or stuck.

If that’s you, let’s talk.

• Schedule a free consultation with a therapist for perfectionism in New York

• Learn more about my approach to perfectionism therapy

• You deserve care that meets you where you are—not just where you think you’re supposed to be.

Other Therapy Services at Balanced Connection Counseling

If researching therapy feels like another thing to get “right,” you’re not alone—and chances are, perfectionism isn’t the only pattern showing up. People-pleasing, anxiety, and burnout often travel with it, quietly shaping how you move through the world and how hard it can be to ask for support. That’s why I offer therapy not just for perfectionism, but for the many ways it intersects with stress, overfunctioning, and self-doubt. Whether you’re stuck in overthinking, unsure how to slow down, or just quietly wondering if something needs to change, therapy can help—without needing it to be a crisis.

About the Author

Adina Babad, LMHC-D, is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who offers online therapy for anxious perfectionists across New York. She supports women who are used to appearing “fine” on the outside, even as they quietly question how much longer they can hold it all together. With a blend of clinical expertise and lived understanding, Adina helps clients soften the pressure to always do more and explore what it’s like to feel supported—without needing to prove they “deserve” it. In perfectionism therapy, she offers a space to pause, tune in, and take the next step—no perfect readiness required.