Why “Fine” Might Be the Perfect Time to Start Therapy for Anxiety and Perfectionism
If you’ve been thinking about starting perfectionism therapy for a while, but now that it’s summer—or maybe your new job finally feels steady, your relationship’s in a good place, or life just feels... okay—you might be thinking it makes sense to wait a little longer.
And that totally makes sense. But here’s the thing: it’s not always what works best. Especially if you tend to be a perfectionist or feel anxious often—those patterns don’t just disappear, even when they’re quieter. And putting therapy off can unintentionally feed into the idea that you have to be really struggling to ask for or even to deserve help.
I’m a perfectionism therapist in Garden City, New York who specializes in anxiety and perfectionism, and I see this thought process come up a lot. If you’re like many of my clients, you might power through until things get really hard, barely noticing (or allowing yourself to notice) when you’re overwhelmed, burned out, or could use some extra support—especially if you’re used to doing it all. You might not even realize how much you’ve been holding until it feels way too heavy.
So, while starting therapy when you’re feeling “alright” might feel a little counterintuitive, let’s talk about why it can actually be really helpful.
Let’s Clear This Up: You Don’t Have to Wait for a Crisis to Start Therapy
Therapy is great for people who are in crisis, but it’s also totally normal (and honestly, often a great move) to start when things feel kind of okay. If you’re used to carrying a lot yourself, and that anxious, perfectionistic self-talk is so familiar it barely registers—especially when life seems “fine”—it’s easy to keep putting off going to therapy.
I wrote more about signs it might be time to start therapy, here, and spoiler: none of them are “my entire life is falling apart.” Perfectionism therapy is a space where you can sort through thoughts, feelings, and patterns—whether they’re loud and disruptive or just quietly getting in the way. It’s a place to get support and catch those unhelpful patterns early, so you can practice shifting them now, before bigger challenges come up.
Just because things feel “fine” on the surface doesn’t mean you don’t need (or deserve) support underneath.
Why Perfectionism and Anxiety Make It Hard to Ask for Help
If perfectionism and anxiety are pretty common parts of your life, it’s easy to come up with reasons to delay starting therapy—especially when life is looking relatively calm. Here are a few ways those patterns might be showing up.
Waiting for a “good enough” reason – If you’re waiting for the “right time” or a “good enough” reason, you might be downplaying your struggles because they feel familiar, or worrying that others will think your problems aren’t “serious enough”
Not wanting to rely on others – Asking for help can feel vulnerable, even in therapy
Feeling like you need to seem capable and put-together – Especially if you’ve gotten used to being the one who has it all under control
Putting pressure on yourself to do therapy “the right way” – Perfectionism and anxiety can even sneak into the therapy process. I touch on that in a couple other blog posts, here and here.
Wanting to protect the relative peace you’re feeling right now – You might worry that digging into issues will bring things up when you’re finally feeling okay
Why Starting When You’re “Fine” Can Actually Be the Best Time
Even when things seem calm—like those long, sunny days are finally lifting your mood, or your new job is giving you a sense of stability—it doesn’t mean it’s the wrong time for perfectionism therapy. In fact, it might be one of the best times.
Here’s why starting therapy when you’re doing “fine” can actually be really helpful, especially if anxiety and perfectionism tend to show up in subtle (or maybe not so subtle) ways day to day:
You actually have the space to do the deeper work
When you’re not in crisis mode, you have more emotional capacity to reflect, process, and make intentional changes, rather than just trying to get through the day. You can start to explore what’s beneath the surface, build new tools, and work through patterns that might otherwise get overlooked.
And even if difficult emotions come up in the process, they often feel more manageable when you’re not already overwhelmed. You’re more likely to move through them—not get stuck in them.
You can get ahead of the cycle before it repeats
If you’ve been through burnout, anxiety spirals, or perfectionism-fueled stress before, you probably know how easily they pop back up. Starting therapy when things feel steady lets you catch those early signs and work on shifting the cycle before it comes back again.
It also gives you space to prepare if you know something stressful is coming—like a big life transition, busy season at work, or something personal you’ve been bracing for.
You get more clarity and perspective on your patterns
It’s hard to get as much insight when you’re in the middle of emotional chaos. But when things are calmer, you can step back and actually see your patterns more clearly—with less judgment and more curiosity.
You may start to notice the subtle thought loops, coping strategies, or beliefs that tend to get in the way—but that you might not even catch when you’re in survival mode. And that awareness makes it easier to shift them in more lasting ways.
You’re reminding yourself that your needs matter—even when you’re not “falling apart”
If you tend to minimize your emotions or tell yourself “I should be fine,” it can feel unfamiliar (and maybe even a little uncomfortable) to reach out for help when you’re not in a crisis. Going to perfectionism therapy sends the message (to yourself) that your emotions, needs, and growth are valid—even when you’re technically okay.
You don’t have to be in crisis to deserve support.
You’re not rushed, so you can find the right therapist for you
When you’re not in a rush to feel better immediately, you have more space to look for a therapist for perfectionism (and therapy style) that actually feels like a good fit.
That means less pressure, fewer “quick fixes,” and a better chance at doing work that actually sticks. And if a therapist isn’t quite right for you, it’s much easier to notice that and pivot when you’re not already at capacity.
This isn’t just about avoiding a breakdown—it’s about building something better for yourself.
Starting therapy during a “fine” season of life might feel unnecessary at first, but that calmness actually gives you the best foundation to work from. You're not in survival mode, so you have room to explore. And you’re more likely to get to the core of what keeps getting in the way—without it feeling too overwhelming.
Perfectionism Therapy as a Tool for Growth, Not Just Fixing What’s Broken
Therapy doesn’t have to be a last resort. It can be a tool for reflection, growth, and making changes that support the life you want, not just the one you’re trying to survive.
When things feel calm—or even just “fine enough”—it’s the perfect time to start exploring the thoughts, patterns, and emotions that tend to show up again and again. You’ll be better prepared when things get harder, and you’ll probably feel more connected to yourself in the meantime.
So, if you’ve been holding off because you feel “okay,” it might be worth asking: What would it be like to get support anyway? You don’t need a crisis to take care of yourself. In fact, your future self will probably thank you.
Does Starting Perfectionism Therapy in New York Feel Overwhelming?
If life feels “fine” right now, it might be tempting to put therapy off until things get harder. From my Garden City–based practice, I work with anxious perfectionists who are used to powering through—waiting for the “right time” or a big enough reason to finally reach out. The truth is, you don’t need a crisis to start. In perfectionism therapy, we focus on curiosity, clarity, and growth—so you can catch unhelpful patterns early and build lasting change. You don’t have to feel “bad enough” to deserve support. You just need to give yourself permission to start.
Learn more about how I support anxious perfectionists like you
Your consult call isn’t about proving you’re struggling—it’s simply a chance to explore fit and see what support could look like for you. Feeling “fine” is actually the perfect time to take this step.
Other Therapy Services at Balanced Connection Counseling
If things in your life feel “fine” on the surface, it can be easy to talk yourself out of starting therapy—especially if perfectionism isn’t the only thing showing up. Stress patterns like anxiety, burnout, and people-pleasing often weave into everyday life quietly, making it harder to recognize when support could actually help. That’s why I offer therapy not only for perfectionism, but also for the habits and thought patterns that keep you pushing forward even when you’re carrying too much. Therapy can be a space to pause, reflect, and give yourself support before things feel overwhelming—reminding you that you don’t have to wait for a crisis to take care of yourself.
About the Author
Adina Babad, LMHC-D, is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who offers online therapy for anxious perfectionists throughout New York. She works with women who are used to keeping things together on the outside—telling themselves life is “fine”—while still feeling the quiet pull of anxiety and perfectionism underneath. With compassion and clinical grounding, Adina helps clients explore those patterns before they become overwhelming, creating space for growth in seasons of calm as well as in times of struggle. In perfectionism therapy, she reminds you that you don’t need to wait for a crisis to deserve support—your needs are valid, even when life feels steady.