Why Quick Fixes Feel Easier Than Getting Real Support (Especially for Perfectionists)
It’s the weekend. You’ve had a long week. So, you do a little online shopping. Maybe you go out to eat. Get a facial. Sign up for a Pilates class. Buy yet another new planner that this time is definitely going to change everything.
It’s pretty easy. And it feels good, at least for a little while.
At the same time, you’ve been thinking about starting online therapy for perfectionism. Maybe you’ve searched online, asked a friend who they see, and pulled up a few therapists’ websites. You’ve lingered on the “contact” page more than once.
But actually committing to therapy feels like… a lot, between the time, the money (even if you technically can afford it), and the emotional effort. So, you close out the tabs, tell yourself you’ll come back to it later, and order dinner instead. Maybe you even start planning your next trip.
I’m an online therapist for perfectionism in NY who works with perfectionists and people-pleasers, and a lot of my clients come to me after being stuck in this pattern for a long time. They usually reach out when they realize they’ve been “coping” nonstop, but not actually moving forward.
They buy a new outfit, feel excited for about 30 minutes, and then they’re right back to baseline. They go on vacation, have a great time… and then they’re back at work, back in their head, already counting down to the next trip because they just can’t seem to feel settled in their day-to-day life.
And listen, I get it. I’ve been there too. Quick fixes like shopping, trips, and little treats feel really nice in the moment. They’re easy to justify because they’re occasional and feel earned. Therapy, on the other hand, asks for something different. It’s an ongoing commitment. It’s work. It means actually facing your stuff instead of distracting yourself from it.
That’s hard for anyone. And when you have patterns of perfectionism and people-pleasing, there’s usually a lot underneath that makes this even harder.
I talk about this in therapy sessions with clients all the time because it’s such an honest reflection of what’s going on beneath the surface. So, let’s talk about it here too!
Why This Pattern Makes Sense (Even If It’s Not Really Helping)
Because Quick Fixes Are Easier Than Doing the Deeper Work
Avoiding usually feels easier in the moment than confronting. And quick fixes feel fun. There’s a dopamine hit in buying something new, a cocktail can feel like a treat, and going out for dinner gives a quick little boost of excitement. When you’re doing those things, it can briefly feel like your problems have disappeared, which is a lot simpler than sitting across from a therapist and talking about the real, sometimes heavy stuff.
And there’s usually more underneath this pattern, especially for perfectionists.
Because You’re Used to Being the One Who Handles Things
Spending money on online therapy for perfectionism can feel like admitting that something is “wrong,” or that you should be able to handle this on your own. (For the record: getting support doesn’t mean you can’t handle things. It means you’re outsourcing some help, so you don’t have to do everything the hard way. Kind of like hiring a CPA, a financial advisor, or someone to clean your apartment.
Because Therapy Means Going Deeper
Therapy also means looking at the stuff that brings up shame, guilt, sadness, or old wounds. It means being seen—by a therapist for perfectionism and by yourself. And vulnerability can feel really uncomfortable when you’re used to holding it all together.
Because Slowing Down Feels Uncomfortable
You might worry that if you really let yourself go there, you’ll fall apart. Or that starting therapy means you’ll have to give up patterns that have protected you for a long time (even if they’re also exhausting you). And therapy requires slowing down, which can feel unsettling when you’re used to staying busy and productive.
Because You Don’t Want to Take Up Too Much Space
If you’ve got some people-pleasing tendencies, there can be another layer too. You might worry about being “too much,” needing too much, or taking up too much space. What if the therapist judges you, even though they’re literally trained not to? What if your partner or family thinks you’re being indulgent or selfish for spending money on therapy? (Another spoiler: therapy almost always helps the people in your life, too, especially your relationships.)
Because (Emotionally) Investing in Yourself Feels Risky
Add to all of this the uncertainty of whether therapy will actually work—or more specifically, work for you. Like investing, therapy can feel like a risk. You hope you’ll see returns over time, but there’s no immediate guarantee. And for many people, there’s also a deeper belief underneath all of this: I’m not really worth investing in.
Sometimes, the risk isn’t just the money. It’s letting yourself hope that things could actually change.
Why This Pattern Isn’t Actually Helping You
I could go on for a while here, but I’ll keep this (relatively) brief.
Avoiding might feel good in the moment, but there’s a long-term cost. Therapy has an upfront cost in time, money, and energy. But avoiding has a cost too, both emotionally and financially. And when you add up all the “coping” spending, it’s often more than you realize
You end up prioritizing everyone and everything else except yourself. Over time, this reinforces the belief that your struggles aren’t “bad enough” or that you don’t deserve real support
By staying on the surface, you miss out on deeper healing and more meaningful connection—with yourself and with others
You’ll never actually know if therapy could help unless you give it a real chance. Waiting until you feel completely sure, or until it feels like the “right time,” often just keeps you stuck in the same cycle
Your healing ends up taking longer than it needs to. No one is ever fully “done,” but progress usually happens much faster when you’re not doing it alone. And being in therapy means you have someone who can gently point out patterns you might not notice—or might take much longer to catch (or work on) on your own
Most spending on coping isn’t actually an investment in you—it’s a way to get temporary relief. It can help you feel better for a moment, but it doesn’t usually change what’s underneath
Spending patterns often point to something deeper, and avoiding therapy keeps those deeper issues unaddressed. And each time you choose distraction over support, it can unintentionally reinforce the anxiety you’re trying to escape
It’s easy to convince yourself you’re “not spending that much”… until you actually add it all up and realize how much energy and money is going toward just getting through the week
You don’t give yourself the chance to prove that things can be different, and that you can grow, change, and feel more grounded in your day-to-day life
Comfort is important, sure. But never challenging yourself keeps you stuck. Sometimes short-term discomfort leads to much more stability, ease, and confidence in the long run
How Online Therapy for Perfectionism Helps (And Why It Might Be Worth the Investment)
In my work with clients, we often talk about money—how it’s used, avoided, or stressed over. And it’s almost never just about the money. Money tends to reflect deeper beliefs: about our worth, our safety, or what we feel we’re allowed to need (or want). Choosing therapy can bring up all these feelings, which is why the hesitation is usually more emotional than financial.
Our spending can align with our values or be completely disconnected from them. Therapy helps you take an honest look at that, and at where else in your life your actions might not match what you actually want and need.
To be clear: I’m not against spending money on comforts that make life feel easier or nicer in the moment. Trips, little treats, and comforts can be genuinely helpful and enjoyable. This isn’t about cutting all of that out. It’s about balance, and about giving yourself access to support that actually helps you change things, not just avoiding them over and over.
I advocate for you letting yourself get the kind of support I know you deserve.
You probably trust that your 401k will pay off in the long run. So why not therapy?
And you don’t have to feel totally ready. You just have to be ready enough to try trusting yourself, and to let someone support and guide through the process.
IS IT TIME TO START ONLINE THERAPY FOR PERFECTIONISM IN GARDEN CITY, NEW YORK?
If you keep reaching for quick fixes—another self-help book, another budgeting app, another late-night Google spiral—instead of slowing down and getting real support, you're not broken. You're doing what perfectionism taught you to do: figure it out alone, do it perfectly, and never ask for help until you've exhausted every other option. But that cycle of self-reliance isn't strength—it's exhaustion disguised as productivity. At Balanced Connection Counseling, my Garden City–based practice, I work with anxious perfectionists and people-pleasers who convince themselves they should be able to handle everything on their own, who feel guilty for needing support, and who keep choosing the "faster" solution because slowing down feels like falling behind. In online therapy for perfectionism in Garden City, New York, we explore why asking for help feels so threatening, why you default to surface-level fixes instead of addressing what's really going on, and how perfectionism keeps you stuck in a loop of doing more while feeling like it's never enough. Working with an online therapist for perfectionism means having a space where you don't have to perform wellness—you get to actually experience it, with someone who understands how hard it is for perfectionists to stop managing and start healing.
Learn more about me as a therapist for perfectionism and anxiety in New York, and how I help perfectionists move past the quick-fix cycle
You don't have to have it all figured out before you deserve support. Therapy can help you stop white-knuckling your way through life and start building something that actually sustains you.
OTHER THERAPY SERVICES AT BALANCED CONNECTION COUNSELING
If you keep defaulting to quick fixes—downloading another app, watching another video, reading another article—instead of getting the support you actually need, there's usually something deeper driving that pattern. Anxiety, burnout, people-pleasing, and the relentless need to prove you can handle everything alone often show up alongside that quick-fix impulse—making it feel impossible to slow down, ask for help, or trust that meaningful change doesn't have to happen overnight. That's why I offer online therapy for perfectionism in Garden City, New York, along with specialized support for the emotional patterns that keep you stuck in cycles of over-researching, over-functioning, and convincing yourself that the next hack or strategy will finally be the one that works. I help clients understand the deeper stories driving their need to fix everything fast—the fear of being seen as incapable, the guilt around prioritizing themselves, and the belief that they should already have this figured out by now. If you've been cycling through quick fixes while avoiding the slower, harder work of actually understanding yourself, or if you're exhausted from performing self-improvement instead of experiencing real change, therapy for perfectionism can offer a compassionate space to stop managing symptoms and start addressing what's really going on.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Adina Babad, LMHC-D, is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and online therapist for perfectionism in Garden City and throughout New York State. She works with anxious perfectionists and people-pleasers who find themselves stuck in an endless loop of quick fixes—downloading the next productivity app, binge-reading self-help content at midnight, and convincing themselves that if they just find the right strategy, they'll finally feel better without having to ask anyone for help. With warmth, clinical expertise, and a deep understanding of how perfectionism and anxiety fuel the need to solve everything alone and immediately, Adina helps clients untangle the beliefs that keep them reaching for surface-level solutions while avoiding the deeper work that would actually create lasting change. Through online therapy for perfectionism in Garden City, New York, she creates a compassionate space where you can explore why slowing down feels dangerous, why asking for support triggers guilt, and why perfectionism has convinced you that needing help means you've failed—so you can finally stop white-knuckling your way through personal growth, let go of the pressure to fix yourself perfectly and on your own timeline, and begin building a relationship with yourself where your worth isn't contingent on how quickly or independently you can figure everything out.